Grasping Reality

Moving into adolescence my imaginary friends became a distant memory. The only reminder was if someone in the family would tease me about my spiritual crew. At this stage of my life I longed for friends who weren’t related to me. The problem was emotionally I felt like a square peg trying to fit into a round hole when I had to interact with anyone outside of my family. I was overwhelmingly shy and just the thought of rejection caused anxiety and panic attacks. I was generally an internal emotional mess, feeling awkward and out of place both mentally and physically. Most days I would have preferred to fade into the walls and become invisible

During this time I also activated my mental disappearing act. I would tune out from everything around me. In some cases I would lose large intervals of time. Was I daydreaming or was I starting the stages of astral traveling? I would learn later than that some of my missing time was due in part to astral traveling. I also learned that the things I thought were déjà vu were actually astral projection and I had already lived out that particular scenario.

In the beginning, daydreaming and astral traveling caused fear and frustration because I didn’t understand why or how it was happening. I did however notice that in some cases it seemed to be a form of protection when my mind didn’t want to deal with a situation emotionally or physically. Over time and with research, I've learned to understand and embrace each new experience that exclusively belonged to me.                                                            

  'Eyes are useless when the mind is blind'--Unknown

God Sent Me a Lesson

"God never allows pain without a purpose in the lives of His children. He never allows Satan, nor circumstances, nor any ill-intending person to afflict us unless He uses that affliction for our good. God never wastes pain. He always causes it to work together for our ultimate good, the good of conforming us more to the likeness of His Son." -- Jerry Bridges

I recently had a medical scare with a loved one that completely threw me off my game. It was totally unexpected and I allowed fear to consume every part of my being. I created every conceivable negative scenario of the outcome including my loved one dying. Here I am a 'spiritual mentor' talking to people about how to enlighten their life, combat fear, and think positively and I failed to take my own advice. I soon had to acknowledge it was another lesson God sent me in relationship to my ego and humility; I got too 'uppity' and took my gifts for granted.

God in His infinite wisdom still sent people to me seeking assistance. Lord knows I didn't want to be bothered with anyone's problems when I felt overwhelmed by my own. I did talk to them and it actually soothed and uplifted my spirit. It brought me back to the perspective that even when you have problems, there is always someone with bigger problems than you. 

I'm only human and prone to failures, but I also have to embrace the messages sent to me and learn from them. It also humbled me and helped me to recognize that I have to take the advice I give to others and continually work with the tools in my spiritual tool box. God steered me back to my appointed path and I'm grateful.

We Are All Born Special

Growing up with a large extended family we spent a lot of time together. There were many joyous moments but there were also many trying times that are still etched in my memory. A drawback of so many people with a multitude of dynamic personalities was endless erratic craziness. The family disagreements and violent behavior seemed to happen like a spontaneous combustion.

Like many children I had imaginary friends. During these turbulent times my spirits only jobs were to keep me safe and to be my playmates when I felt lonely. Nurturing a child's spiritual gifts can be as simple as not discouraging their play or conversation with their invisible friends. I was lucky enough to have a Mom who never suppressed my imagination.

The spiritual environment has shifted significantly over the years. Depending on the year of their birth you could have a Star, Indigo, Crystal or Rainbow child in your life. These multitudes of children come into life remembering their past lives, communicating with spirits and angels, showing the natural ability to use energy for healing, or exhibiting a deep knowledge of spiritual truths. They also can have an uncanny connection with others, animals and the universe. These beautiful gifts are often misunderstood as mental and behavioral disorders, making these gifts feel like a curse that require constant explaining. The effects result in many of these God given gifts being hidden, underdeveloped or sitting dormant.

My first memorable incident with spirit I can remember happened at 5 years old. It was so traumatic that I can still remember the episode like it was yesterday. I was standing on the steps of our home knocking on the door. My Mother looked out of the second floor window and said she would be down to open the door. A big gust of wind came out of nowhere. I ‘heard’ a voice say to put my sweater over my head and look down, which I did. At that very moment the second floor window pane fell out. The full window pane tumbled down towards me from two stories high at an accelerated rate. The corner of the fallen window hit the top of my head, then bounced off my sweater and cut my left cheek. It created a 1” scar in the top of my head and a 6” scar on my left cheek. If I didn’t receive the 'message' my head would have been spit open or it would have possibly killed me. I live each day with the scars but I am alive by the grace of God and my spirit guides.

"Sometimes I just look up, smile, and say I know it was you God, thank you!"

The Road Towards Spirit

I've always considered myself an average person aspiring to live a comfortable life. Crazy things have always happened around me, even as a young child. I would think some experiences were a coincidence and others left me terrified. Most of the peculiar things that happened I'd keep to myself for fear that people would think I was crazy. Who would believe any of this? I had a hard time rationalizing it and questioned my own sanity most of the time.

Nights were the times that filled me with the most terror and dread because of the 'spiritual shenanigans' that seem to unfold around me. I would pick up flashes of colors or shadows moving from the corners of my eyes. I'd also see apparitions that would drag me up the wall while I felt paralyzed and helpless. There were also episodes where I seemed to be levitating above the bed.

No matter which incident occurred it would keep me from falling asleep because of the tremendous amount of fear and anxiety I felt. The even stranger thing was that these events would occur whether I was with someone or by myself in the bed. I would pray to God all night for safety and daylight. Daydreaming was a major issue for me. I'd just check out mentally it would occur day or night. That was linked with periods of time that I couldn't remember what happened nor have I ever been able to account for those lost periods of time in my life.

I also have unexplained issues being in large crowds. I often felt lightheaded and my mood changed drastically according to who I was standing around me. My brain would go into information overload with details about a stranger's life - just by standing near them. People always seemed drawn to me and would share all of their problems and secrets. There didn't seem to be any way to control any of these issues. The combination of all of these incidents made me feel insecure isolate and out of place. 

My family was no help in understanding what was happening to me, although there was never a shortage of family stories about ghost and spirits. But even with the true to life scary stories, not one person in the family shared their personal experiences with spirits. So I thought I was the only one with these unusual super natural experiences. The only relief I had was that everything came in cycles and it would be years between incidents. Little did I know that all my experiences would be contributing factors in my spiritual growth and expansion. I also realized that recognizing gifted children at a young age will lend itself to acceptance and development of their gifts.